PAST

This is W

Everything I don't know about David Foster Wallace and know about my friends.

27th April - 11th May, 2019

Tom Esam, Kira Piriz, Stephan Endewardt, Charles Benjamin, Diego Palacios, Ivan Melnick, Raoul Zoellner, Fifa2000 and Egon Thuile.

My name is Harmony Molina(1), I’m 38 years old and most of the people say I'm an Artist. I consider myself a slacker. In the last 3 years I have only worked once(2) for 6 months, delivering food in the Berlin area, I did it with my bike quite successfully until the day that I froze my feet due to a very cold weather(3) and freaked out because I missed my ex so much(4), I called her, she told me she would never go back with me and I just couldn't drive my bike anymore(5). I haven't been able to work ever since, I tried looking for jobs, not so much to be honest, and all this time I just lived, travelled and gone out with my families Visa and Master Cards(6). I feel ashamed of course, but theres nothing else I can do about it, Im lazy as can be, didn't study anything relevant(7), and most of all, I have a huge lack of self-esteem. I've live thus, in eternal holidays most of my life, specially the last 3 years, traveling to Japan, India, Europe and South America, pretty good for someone like me uh? I feel so embarrassed about having so much free time and not doing anything else, that unlike most people, a perfect vacation for me I think, would be actually to work, doing something, you know what I mean, because frankly, Im quite tired of living on a permanent vacation. Lately I've dream so many nights about spending a summer, working in an office, imagine dude(8), sitting down on my own working chair, working desk, using an old working computer, just working on the taxes area, in any country, I don't care, it would be so, so, so, exciting, imagine, waking up everyday at 7am, taking a shower, have breakfast, jump on my bike and ride to the office, enjoying the fresh air in the morning, feeling so anxious of saying Good Morning! To all my colleagues, Oh God, that would never really happen, unfortunately, I don't have any skills(9). Being tired after work, Oh my goodness(10), what a blast, the fact of only thinking about telling my friends at the bar how hard it was to keep up with the day at the office, makes me smile, I'll never be able to do that, I just cant, its too much for me Jesus(11). What do my parent think about me?(12) I don't even want to think about that, getting a girlfriend? how? where? when? Impossible, I cant meet a women(13), I cant be part of any group or circle of normal people talking about what they did at work, I wont be able to find someone like me, someone who doesn't mind not going out or dine at a nice restaurant or going to the movies, I couldn't afford any kind of girlfriend. Im a sad person. Why I'm telling you this? Because I regret every single mistake that I did in the past, failing at Uni, not studying, not able to search or find anything significant which would make me being able to be independent economically from my family. I admire you because you studied, Im happy for you, I love that you have a job, I find awesome that you can afford a nice Uber ride, Im not a jealous person, I just consider so cool that you were mature enough to do something with your life, I hope you are happy, I don’t want anyone to have the kind of depressing life that I have, but if you want to make me a little bit better, you could give me a little desk at the place you work this summer and let me do something for someone else(14), would make me feel alive, even just a little.

Peace, love and empathy,
Harmony

Footnotes

  1. His real name is Pablo Molina, after his mothers beloved father. Harmony Korine was the original inspiration for his artist name.
  2. He worked for Deliveroo and got fired for unclear reasons. One of the stories is that he almost punched his boss, another is that there were issues with his health insurance. It is very probable that the real reason he got fired will never be known.
  3. This is a lie.
  4. His girlfriend broke up with him for New years eve 2016, when during the family celebration in Luxembourg he tried to kiss the sister of her grandmother. Her father kicked him out and he had to come back to Berlin in a bus.
  5. Another lie.
  6. His Dad is a doctor but also a marathon world Champion, once winning a marathon in Japan.
  7. He studied Theatre at La Mancha Institute, where he took up cross dressing in an attempt to develop as a performance artist.
  8. Harmony never normally uses the word “Dude” in neither writing nor speech.
  9. This is a lie. Harmony is a decent tap-dancer.
  10. Harmony never uses this expression, ever.
  11. Harmony doesn't believe in Jesus, also he doesn't drink alcohol. He started this diet after his ex girlfriend broke up with him (see footnote 4).
  12. Once Harmony asked my father, who also happens to be a doctor, if he thought it possible that his father loves him.
  13. This is a lie. Harmony once met a wonderful 55 year old lady which he convinced to come see a concert of his. Something that really seemed to excite her, until Harmony stripped naked, started doing spit-yoyos, and finally rolled around on the stage floor. She left the concert before it was over.
  14. Harmony's number is +56982375080
Past No Money, No Problems Carta a los Corazones Indómitos Fire Faísca Funke This is W Rumpelstiltskin It All Folds Anexo Metropolitano Sidas - Soto Me Gusta, pero me Asusta El Pan de Cada Día Violent Games Realism, Reality, Real (360 Degree) Malungas Fascion Un-Working the Icon: Kurdish "Warrior Divas" Magnetic Fields: Invisible Realities Opium Abend There will come soft rains Being a better Person- Is all about the Self No Walls Si es Bayer, es Bueno